Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A New Adventure


Wedding Countdown Ticker


God has brought a new adventure into my life. A man desiring to be my husband and willing to jump through all the hoops of a relationship. After many years of waiting, wondering, and praying God has finally given me the desires of my heart (in His time). I am on my way to getting married. :)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Chocolate Covered Tears (original work)

I have been reading an amazingly convicting and encouraging book called Made to Crave and I have been working on evaluating why I crave things and why I eat things. Over the past two months of my journey I have dealt with a lot of craving filled days and this is a poem I was inspired with. It doesn't necessarily ryme or anything but I hope if speaks to someone and lets you take a glimpse into the struggles of my heart.

Chocolate Covered Tears
The mumblings and the whispers that dart around my mind.
 Should not be those of decadence, deliciousness, or shine.
 Those seductive phrases that rise from the cellar or the fridge,
 Are lies that give pleasure for only a quick phase.
 The ice cream or the cheesecake will not the craving sate.
 That bag of chips or crackers does not contentment make.
 Your heart may be what's empty so don't go look to food.
 That simple taste of pleasure is like that fateful bite,
 Of Eve's forbidden fruit that flooded her with night.
 It didn't give her blessings or years of great delight.
 It only produced bitterness, anger, guilt, and fright.
 So when those whispered cravings seduce your inmost thoughts,
 Call out to your Creator who give you strength to fight.
 Even if the yearning bring you close to tears,
 Remember He is with you through your stormy years.
 So when you are discouraged or you are to tired to fight.
 Remember He won't give you more then you can take.
 His power even conquers those craving you can't break.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Memo on Mardi Gras: "Stuff Your Face"

It is that time of year again. The time where people party all day today before they become "extra spiritual" tomorrow and give something up for the next 40 days (or 10 cuz really, who is going to know). Most often people give up something that they feel will be a tiny bit of a challenge but they rationalize it with "it is only 40 days then I can have it again" and this is true but honestly it doesn't deal with people's heart issues.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about sins that control people. And not that people cannot stop themselves from something but there are some struggles that just beat people down all the time. And for some people that is food. Every year as January first approaches the media begins to talk about that "new you" or those extra "holiday pounds" and people resolve to do something that will last till about, let's say the 15th or January or maybe Valentine's day. But not every one become's their new self, instead they sit down filled with self loathing and have another brownie... with ice cream.



People fall off the wagon. I fall off the wagon. For a few years now I feel like I have been fighting a constant battle with food, even as I sit hear and write this I can hear the ice cream in the basement freezer screaming my name with it's icy, smooth delicious voice. But just the other day I picked up a book that if I really listen to it might just change my life. I read the words this woman is writing and I can hear the voices of frustration, anger, and guilt that flash through my head every day. The book is entitled Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food and so far it is convicting and encouraging. Honestly this is hard to admit because after all almost everyone around me tells me that there is no way in the world I have a problem with food "Your not fat". The problem isn't necessarily my weight it is my craving. According to the book craving is defined as trying to get our physical desired met outside the will of God. One of the author's statements that hit me hardest was pure honesty:"I relied on food more then I relied on God. I craved food more then I craved God. Food was my comfort. Food was my reward. Food was my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even happiness. Now that is really a slap in the face. But she really speaks the truth. For some people food is an idol. It gives a momentary cure for a long-term ache. But I for one would much rather have the long term cure for my hunger so I am going to try to take the words of this book to heart and change my view on food. I do not want my desire's to rule me and I most certainly do not want to lose the spiritual battle that is manifest through my cravings. So, I plan on starting today to honestly evaluate my relationship with food and give it a much needed makeover. I want to crave my Savior not a box of drumsticks! So here's too a journey that I hope, with Christ's help, will end in victory. Bon App├ętit!

~Loneliness~

I heard once that loneliness is God calling to your heart and telling you to turn to him.