Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A New Adventure

Wedding Countdown Ticker

God has brought a new adventure into my life. A man desiring to be my husband and willing to jump through all the hoops of a relationship. After many years of waiting, wondering, and praying God has finally given me the desires of my heart (in His time). I am on my way to getting married. :)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Chocolate Covered Tears (original work)

I have been reading an amazingly convicting and encouraging book called Made to Crave and I have been working on evaluating why I crave things and why I eat things. Over the past two months of my journey I have dealt with a lot of craving filled days and this is a poem I was inspired with. It doesn't necessarily ryme or anything but I hope if speaks to someone and lets you take a glimpse into the struggles of my heart.

Chocolate Covered Tears
The mumblings and the whispers that dart around my mind.
 Should not be those of decadence, deliciousness, or shine.
 Those seductive phrases that rise from the cellar or the fridge,
 Are lies that give pleasure for only a quick phase.
 The ice cream or the cheesecake will not the craving sate.
 That bag of chips or crackers does not contentment make.
 Your heart may be what's empty so don't go look to food.
 That simple taste of pleasure is like that fateful bite,
 Of Eve's forbidden fruit that flooded her with night.
 It didn't give her blessings or years of great delight.
 It only produced bitterness, anger, guilt, and fright.
 So when those whispered cravings seduce your inmost thoughts,
 Call out to your Creator who give you strength to fight.
 Even if the yearning bring you close to tears,
 Remember He is with you through your stormy years.
 So when you are discouraged or you are to tired to fight.
 Remember He won't give you more then you can take.
 His power even conquers those craving you can't break.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Memo on Mardi Gras: "Stuff Your Face"

It is that time of year again. The time where people party all day today before they become "extra spiritual" tomorrow and give something up for the next 40 days (or 10 cuz really, who is going to know). Most often people give up something that they feel will be a tiny bit of a challenge but they rationalize it with "it is only 40 days then I can have it again" and this is true but honestly it doesn't deal with people's heart issues.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about sins that control people. And not that people cannot stop themselves from something but there are some struggles that just beat people down all the time. And for some people that is food. Every year as January first approaches the media begins to talk about that "new you" or those extra "holiday pounds" and people resolve to do something that will last till about, let's say the 15th or January or maybe Valentine's day. But not every one become's their new self, instead they sit down filled with self loathing and have another brownie... with ice cream.

People fall off the wagon. I fall off the wagon. For a few years now I feel like I have been fighting a constant battle with food, even as I sit hear and write this I can hear the ice cream in the basement freezer screaming my name with it's icy, smooth delicious voice. But just the other day I picked up a book that if I really listen to it might just change my life. I read the words this woman is writing and I can hear the voices of frustration, anger, and guilt that flash through my head every day. The book is entitled Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food and so far it is convicting and encouraging. Honestly this is hard to admit because after all almost everyone around me tells me that there is no way in the world I have a problem with food "Your not fat". The problem isn't necessarily my weight it is my craving. According to the book craving is defined as trying to get our physical desired met outside the will of God. One of the author's statements that hit me hardest was pure honesty:"I relied on food more then I relied on God. I craved food more then I craved God. Food was my comfort. Food was my reward. Food was my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even happiness. Now that is really a slap in the face. But she really speaks the truth. For some people food is an idol. It gives a momentary cure for a long-term ache. But I for one would much rather have the long term cure for my hunger so I am going to try to take the words of this book to heart and change my view on food. I do not want my desire's to rule me and I most certainly do not want to lose the spiritual battle that is manifest through my cravings. So, I plan on starting today to honestly evaluate my relationship with food and give it a much needed makeover. I want to crave my Savior not a box of drumsticks! So here's too a journey that I hope, with Christ's help, will end in victory. Bon App├ętit!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

♪♬Be still my soul♪♬

So, here I am again wondering what is going to be happening in the next chapter of my life. It has been almost a year since I graduated from college and I am now holding my own in two jobs, both of which are in the restaurant industry. Monday-Thursday I am a chef and Friday- Sunday I am a waitress. It is sort of a dual personality I suppose. But God sort of handed me both jobs so I am there for a reason. As I wade through the business of these dual lives, and try not to fall asleep in church, I wonder what I am supposed to be doing next. In my "great" plan for my life I would have been married and living life by the side of a man I have been praying and waiting for since I was 16. Obviously God had other plans. Anyway, due to the crazy work schedule I don't have much of a social life but I do have time to think. I think while I drive, while I do prep work, while I roll silverware, and while I attempt to drift off to sleep after a late night at work. People so often seem to skip right over thinking. They drowned out any silence with music or with ceaseless (and often pointless) chatter. Don't you every just want to take a walk and think. Contemplate, breath deep, and maybe even just listen to the silence. One of the most moving and beautiful stillnesses I ever beheld was after a long afternoon at work when I parked near some woods and walked into the deep snowdrifts and just listened to the snowflakes fall as the silence enveloped me. So after much thought I would challenge you to just go out into a solitary place (without electronics) and just stand and think in the silence. Who knows maybe God will give you that gentle nudge of guidance you have been praying for but have been too busy to hear... Just something to think about... :)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It's the most wonderful time of the year... :)

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it?”

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Emotions end in poetry

Recently I have had friends and acquaintances that have been having relationship trouble. People get angry, argue, and fight and unfortunately some people let that get the best of them and just avoid the problem. With this in mind I started thinking about my husband and how I would want any arguments we have to play out. I am in no way delusional enough to think that if I am with "the one" we will never argue or fight but I do know that if we communicate it won't have to be World War 3. I want him to remember that no matter how frustrated or upset we get with each other I want him to wrap his arms around me and kiss me good night at the close of ever day never "letting the sun go down on our anger" With this thought in my head I ended up writing this poem. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into my heart :)

Kiss Me Anyway
(by Elizabeth Crepinsek)

Kiss me good night
At the close of every day,
So even when we argue
I know we'll be okay.
Kiss me good night,
Can you see it in my eyes?
I wanna say I'm sorry
For the part I played today.
We're angry and we're sullen,
But we cannot stay that way.
Kiss me good night
And when we'd like to walk away
Remember what we promised
On that precious day
You promised you would love me
I promised to obey
Then we promised for forever
In a special way
I'm married to you darling
And I will always say:
Even when we argue
Kiss me anyway.
I never want to shout,
Or have a yelling match.
Especially, since hearts are made of such thin glass.
I know your weakest points
And you know all of mine.
But love means we won't use them
To get ahead this time.
In the drowsy, dreary twilight
Of a long and trying day.
I want you to remember,
Despite the words we say
That I'll love you forever
Kiss me every day.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

So tonight at Church I was praising God and looking back at all the lonely moments in my Christian walk where I felt alone and then out of the blue God would bring a Christian brother or sister "out of hiding" and show me that His children are everywhere and when we cross paths we can encourage each other greatly. So this poem is to thank God for my Christian friends from high-school, a Christian friend he brought into my life while at Ivy Tech who encouraged me in ways that He doesn't even know about, and about my new friends in the Bible study God has brought into my life just when I felt totally alone! Enjoy :)

I stumble down the dim lit trail pressing towards a distant light.
A sputtering candle in my hand to see the pathway by.
I squinted at the darkness and I felt it closing in
The candle in my hand flickered once again
I recollect a happy time when that flicker was a flame.
When every day a sabbath regardless of the rain.
My friends all stood around me our candles like the sun.
We walk along together and sometimes even run.
But one by one we ventured out to different schools
Our solitary candles sparkling like jewels.
Over time my flame, it faded
I felt deep darkness pressing down.
I heard whispers from the shadows asking: "Who needs candles now?"
My mind recalled a moment my flame had almost died
When almost right beside me another candle came.
He walked along beside me and we fanned each others flames.
Our candles lit the pathway and our walking there together
Helped us both sustain our precious, lovely flame.
My thoughts jerked back to my present when I tripped and fell.
I knelt oppressed by shadows in a darkening dell
My tears caressed the dusty trail as anguish filled my soul
How could I let this flame go out? For now it Barley glowed.
Amid my deepening sorrow I cried out for His help.
Dear God please send me someone, I can't go on alone.
Before my whispers even formed to words
Someone tapped me on the shoulder and reached out a helping hand.
The candle in his other burned cherry on it's stand.
He told me if I walked with him some others we would meet.
I took his hand quite quickly and my heart began to beat.
We walked a couple paces and he rapped upon a door,
Which just an instant later flew open with a slam!
The candlelight inside the room felt blinding to my eyes
While the smiling and the joy were soothing to my soul.
My own heart started soaring as the moments ticked on by
This place of sweet communion to quench my dry and dusty heart.
The fading spark of candle that had nearly died was sputtering and glowing till it steadied and revived.
Surrounded by the warmth and glow of companions with like mind
I knew my journey would be sweetened by this fellowship tonight.
Together we are stronger, More able now to fight!
So now walking on this footpath the way is clearly lit
Shoulders there to lean on, hands to aid you when you slip.
The journey is quite lightened and the way seems far less rough.
God knows we need our comrades when we're in dire straights
So look just o'er your shoulder or just around the bend.
He'll bring you strong companions until your journeys end.
For then we'll no more travel, we'll all be dressed in white
No tears no wretched trials, only brilliant light
Forever with our Savior and our Holy God.
Drenched in His peaceful presence and at His bosom ever rest!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Just Around the Bend...

The semester is coming to a close. I have watched it fly past at an exhausting rate of speed. And in the back of my mind there is an ever present questions. "Now what?" Friends ask me, strangers ask me and I ask myself. I wish so often that my life was a book that I could go pick up and turn a few chapters into the future and see what is going to happen, what I should do, or where I should go. But life isn't as simple as a novel and no amount of wishing and hoping is going to reveal the future to me (not even the tiniest bit) I cannot see what is ahead. See, life is more like a series of books all released at different times. I am approaching the last chapter of this book and the publishers are enjoying the suspense and anticipation of the next addition. There will be no sneak-peeks, spoilers, or promos and so the only thing to go on is the speculation of the fans and they try to see which of the various choices ther heroine has will be the subject in the next book. So what should I do? Well, the true author of the situation is God so technically I should ask Him right? Well, easier said then done. But I must be doing a little something right because this November is hectic but it has been one of the most content and peaceful times I have ever had in my life. I may not know the what lies around the bend after graduation (if I pass my exams lol) but I do know that the maker of the universe has a plan and it is going to be one heck of the story! :)


I heard once that loneliness is God calling to your heart and telling you to turn to him.